Christmas gift

I have been spending the last few days working on a Christmas gift for my Grandson Wyatt. I am so excited to give him his gift I hope I can wait until Christmas.  I have decided that I would make him a small cupboard with a plastic Indian.  I love the imagery in the book and I am hoping he will love the series.  As grandma’s go, I tend to spoil the grand-kids and I don’t feel a bit awful about loving them and being there for them.  My husband tells me I spoil them and they will not know what to do when they get older. I tell him they will love us and take care of us.  He said, you mean they won’t put us in a home. I said, “No they won’t put me in a home. They love me.” We both had a good laugh. He’s a good grandpa he just doesn't love all over the kids like I do. 

Each Christmas we try and make a gift for the kids so they understand that giving is way better than getting. As I get older I find it harder and harder to compete with the electronic age.  This year I have decided to find books that the kids like and make something from the book to help them make connections. I guess subconsciously I really want the grand-kids to love reading as much as I do.  Our six year old grandson and daughter I haven’t been able to decide what to do. I was thinking about books and I need to do more research. For our 3 year old granddaughter we have decided that it would be fun to make her a doll. Still haven’t decided on that book either. 

We will have a new addition before Thanksgiving our third baby granddaughter will be here and we are hoping she will be home for Thanksgiving.  Next week we will get the delivery date.  Her twin sister didn't make it. The doctors are hoping to wait as long as possible.  We are now at 30 weeks and she is about 4 pounds. This will be a bitter sweet birthday for her mommy.  We are hoping Madisynn’s little lungs will develop over the next few weeks, with the help of steroids.  She will be our blessing this year for Christmas and a very special gift.  I was hoping to have her blanket finished before she arrives but looks like it may be her gift this year. 

It’s Halloween and I am thinking of Christmas. I have been for over 3 weeks. I bought outdoor light last weekend. I have been designing my mountain retreat light show.  I basically have lights because I love the brightness and I love knowing I am sharing some Christmas cheer with the neighbors. 

Weekend

I have been so lazy with my Blog writing this last week. I think I have midterm blues. I have tried to sit down and write and I find myself drifting in thoughts of what needs to be done. I start stressing over things that really have no control over. I asked myself why am I feeling this way and realized I have been working over 40 hour weeks and having no time for family and friend.

So last weekend my wonderful husband took me to Spokane and we had a wonderful date weekend.  I was surprised by the purchase of a new car. We just stopped to look and before I knew it we had unloaded out old Subaru and came out with a new Crosstrex.  This is an awesome gift. Our driveway is up hill and about half way up the 7 percent grade there is a 90 angle with a gate. So in the winter time and a few feet of snow I usually have to walk.  The Impreza had no clearance. 

We had a great time and today I feel a little better. I am back doing the things that make me happy.  I so appreciate the small things in live and the people I work with.  School has consumed my every minute for so long I think I might forget what it is like to have a free moment. Well, I am rambling and I will sign off. I am hoping this week I will get my blog caught up…  Thanks for listening. Have a great Bloggers. 

Descriptive

I have notice that I need more descriptive words in my writing. I encourage students to write descriptive paragraphs almost daily. Yet, looking at my own work I have not been good at practicing what I preach. So, for the next couple of blog entries are going to descriptive.

Each spring I am awaken to crisp morning air with a cool breeze.  As the day warms I feel my covering warm with the brilliant afternoon sun.  My feet are rooted in unruffled stony soil that is watered with brief spring showers. On the warm spring grow longer and warmer I feel energized .I reach for the sky to heat my soul.  As my body in nourished by the sun’s emissions and the soil nutrients I feel changes happening to my being.  My shaft straight and my fingers are converging out and grow into broad shapes of dazzling shades of green. I feel the heat of the long summer days and I feel parched.  I long for a cool summer shower to cool my branches.

Soon the summer sun becomes autumn and I grow wiry with the crisp heat.  I can feel the sun’s energy decreasing with each passing day. The days grow shorter and I realize my body is transforming and preparing to hibernate. While I will miss summer my time to shine is the fall. My vivid broad fingers have become crisp and their pigment is no longer green but different pigments of yellow, orange and red. I long for the swift wind to release my summer growth.  I am preparing to sleep for a long winter.

My stalk is colorless and I stand naked and cold in the Vermont Mountains.   I wait for the first snow to blanket my feet and cover my extremities.  I am ready for a long winters nap. I will dream of the coming spring and vibrant colors it brings. I will stand with my fellow Maples through time. Year after year I will practice this process and until mother nature’s deems me perishable. 

Reading

As a child I struggled to read. I know I must have read some as a young child, but I can’t remember any books that I read myself. My sister read to me Sylvester and The Magic Stone when she was in the second grade and I thought it was just magic.  I thought she was so smart. I remember thinking she was so good because she understood all the symbols on the page. I thought the letters were special numbers that had meaning.

I read my first book when I was in the 5^th grade. I remember the panic feeling of knowing I had to read a book and I could hardly read directions on a test. It was my fear of failure that made me cognizant of the importance of reading. That was the year things change for me.  The world opened up to me and I was amazed that books to take me away without ever leaving the house.

It was so important to me that my children learn to read and not suffer the feeling of embarrassment when called on in class to read. I remember that I missed much because I was too busy counting down to the paragraph that would be mine to read. No wonder they thought I couldn't comprehend. I wasn't paying attention.  I never wanted my children to feel this way. My children grew up reading and loving it.

Now that I have grandchildren, I read to them every chance I get. My daughters read to their children everyday.  I am so proud of both the girls for promoting good reading habits. This last week my oldest grandson brought tears. My daughter called and said, “Mom you will not believe what Wyatt did today. He asked if we could stop at the library on the way home I need to get a book. He went in and I expected him to ask me for help, but he didn't.  He walked up to the librarian and asked for a certain book and he knew the author.  Mom, I am so proud of him. He is really growing up fast.”   We both talked about how proud we were of him and how he is becoming more responsible and making good choices.

I think it is a proud moment for any parent when your child learns to truly love reading.  I just hope he has the same passion for writing.  I will be writing him letter and mailing them to help encourage writing and the purpose. I am love being a grandparent and I am looking forward to communicating with all my grandchildren through writing. 

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is October.  When I hear domestic violence my first thought is the bloody woman in the hospital who has been beaten by someone she trusted with her heart. That is a case of domestic violence at the end of a long cycle. What I know about domestic violence is that it comes in a great deal of forms and it is not just limited to woman.  Domestic Violence is the mental and physical abuse that starts out simply enough but ends ugly. 

We all know someone who has been abused or is being abused currently and in the past.  Domestic Violence (DV) doesn't always seem obvious.  Like I said earlier it starts out innocent enough and before you know it you are in the DV cycle. If you know of someone who is being abused be kind and loving. Don’t enable them, but empower them.

What happens to the brain of a victim of DV is incredible.  The neuro-linguistic pathways are changed and this changes a victim’s way of thinking.  They become victims before they even know it. They start making excuses for the behavior, they change their daily routines to not cause fights, the  victim will begin to isolate themselves because they don’t want to deal with the jealously of the abuser. They start doing things that are not in the best interest of themselves.

 We do not always recognize victims of  DV right away.  First, do not enable the victim. Become their friend and be supportive. Do not agree with what they are saying and trying to justify about the abuser.  Ask them what they would do if you were the victim.  Take your friend to an abuse counselor or shelter. They are free and they are professionally trained to deal with it. Do not be surprised if the victim is in denial, this is how they got in this situation in the first place.  Think of them as cancer victims. They no longer are able to make normal rational decisions because their brain has become damaged. Your friend is no longer able to do what is best for them.  You wouldn't abandon a sick friend,so do not abandon the domestic violence victim. 

Being a family member or friend of a victim is hard.  You don’t have to do this alone. Get help so you are not drug into this cycle.  Never confront the abuser because, one they will think you have a problem and two they will abuse the victim in private.  If you see physical abuse happen, then report it to authorities. Calling the police and say that you witnessed the abuse may save a life. Sometimes that will help. Do not be a bystander who does nothing.

Domestic Violence is a silent killer. Learn more about domestic abuse at: http://search.yahoo.com/r/_ylt=A0oG7lKIAGRSXGcA01FXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTEzdGZ2cmQxBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDNgRjb2xvA2FjMgR2dGlkA1ZJUDI3MV8x/SIG=12ni03inp/EXP=1382314248/**http%3a//domestic-violence.laws.com/domestic-violence-awareness-month

Substitute Teaching

I had the most extraordinary experience today while teaching in a Third grade classroom. I have decided at about half way into teaching a math lesson that there has to me more to life than this. I love math and I really enjoyed it as student. However, I think as a math teacher I sucked. I do not say this lightly nevertheless I made a mistake somewhere along the way and I just hope I haven’t wrecked the students for life about math.  

I want to think that maybe it was because I was substituting and didn't have a lesson plan. Or perhaps it was because the students were out of control. It was a terrible experience for me and the children. The class has a mix of children. It was a good experience and I will learn from it. However, I can only hope that I didn't harm any of the children.

One little boy was so frustrated that he cried. I let him know that there were a lot of students struggling with the concept and that tells me as a teacher I need to reteach it in a way the students could understand. I assured him that I would talk to the teacher and let her know that everyone struggled. I let him know that teachers sometimes make mistakes to and we have to do it again so her students learn correctly.

This experience made me wonder was it really me or was it the dynamics of the class or both. I plan on chatting with the teacher tomorrow about my disastrous lesson. I also plan on discussing the children whom monopolies my time. There were four children who couldn't function at all and kept interrupting.  After some thought, I realize that things didn't go so well because I need to work on my classroom management skills.   

Scared

I could hear a ringing and couldn't understand why the church bell sounded like the phone. It wasn't making any since to me. I was ready to go to church to pray and suddenly I am in bed with my eyes open and hears listing for the sound; that familiar ring of the phone.

 The sound of the telephone woke me out of deep sleep.  I looked at the bedside clock to see that it was only 10:30 p.m. My first thought was who in the world is calling. There must be a problem with one of my children. Who is it?  I answer the phone to my daughter’s voice and she just needed to talk. 

I was so relieved that it wasn't more. She is scared and living on the coast away from her family. I try to comfort her racing thoughts and reminding her not to barrow more worry.  Tomorrow she will be at 27 weeks pregnant and we are hoping to for 32 so we pray a lot.  Her next doctor appointment is Tuesday for another stress test on the live baby.  I tell her I wish I could make it all go away and make things better. I remind her that while she feels we are far, far away her father and I will be there for the birth of our granddaughter.

She asked me, “Mom, will the fear ever go away? Will it all be better once she is born?” I told her we never stop worrying, but things will get better.  We chatted about her when she was a baby and how cute she was and how she grew like a little weed.  We prayed and then said our goodbyes.

It was hours before I could sleep my heart hurts so much for her and her unborn baby. I prayed to heavenly father for his guidance and then left it in his hands. As a parent we never stop worrying, the key is to remember we are not alone. 

Fossil Dig

 I had an amazing experience today with a group of young people on a school field trip to Stonerose Fossil Site and Interpretive Center. Stonerose was formed during the time of Eocene Era. The fossil site plants and animals lived over 40 million years ago.   Stonerose Fossil Site in located about 30 miles from Curlew School and the students visit the site often with their families. Even though the students have visited the site often their interest is still peeked.

It was amazing to watch the students. Why? Because the experienced students were paired with novice students and they were teaching them to use the tools. They were so excited to help and to teach it was amazing to watch them.  When a novice digger would find a fossil the other student who try and guess what the fossil was called.  The students had about 1hour and 15 minutes to dig and no one felt like it was enough time.   

After we came down from the dig site the students were allowed to pick an era on the time line that was painted on the street for the yearly Fossil Festival Next week.  Our school decorated Mesozoic Era and the Eocene Era.  Students painted and used chalk to decorate the time line for next week events.

After the students decorated their portion on the timeline they were able to visit and ask questions to paleontologist that came for next week’s event.  I was impressed that the students asked great questions and paid close attention to short 20 minutes presentation about the local site.

When we returned to school we used the smart board and overhead to see every fossil the students found and they told the name. Toward the end of the student presentations the students in the class were able to classify the fossils the students were presenting.  This was such an amazing time. One student was not allowed to keep his fossil because it was a rare fossil and was only the fifth time it has been found at the site. However, this student had taken a picture of the fossil and we were able to share it with the class. This was such a stroke of luck and an amazing learning process for me as a future teacher. 

Here is the website for more information. 

http://stonerosefossil.org/

Baby Madison

There is sorrow in our home tonight.  I am not sure were to begin. I think I just need to get it all out of my head. I have such great concern for my daughter and her unborn babies.  Well, I should say baby. It all started back in July when she learned that she was pregnant with twins.   We were so excited and couldn't wait for the ultra sound.  We talked about her having girls and how exciting it was going to be having two babies.

The day of the ultra sound came and I waited patiently by the phone for her call. Then Jessica called, “Mom, they couldn't find the heart beat in baby b”.  We talked about all the possibilities it could be but really felt that it was so early and that the other baby might have been in the way. She was scheduled for another ultrasound and still not heart beat but baby b was growing. She had the same legs and Arms as baby A so we were sure it was just a fluke. 

Two months ago they told us the baby B had died and her body would just absorb the unborn fetus. Then she was told that the baby was still growing and we thought God works in mysterious ways. Finally at 20 weeks they had a specialist look at the ultra sound and they found a hear beat.  This was the first time we had heard such good news. 

My daughter was scheduled to have another ultra sound and see yet another specialist.  They again say there is no heart beat and the twin will not make it if she is born.   They contacted a doctor that specializes in surgical procedures while child is still in the womb to see if anything could be done.  Then my daughter’s kidneys shut down and she was rushed by ambulance to Seattle.  Again they do ultrasound, after ultrasound trying to figure out what is going on.

My daughter had kidney stones and once they were under control 6 days later she left the hospital with yet another appointment to see yet a different specialist.  They informed her that the twins were a rare case called acardiac twin.  This was devastating news for her and our family. So last Friday, she again goes to Seattle who specializes in complications during pregnancy to only be told that she will indeed have to have surgery to terminate Twin B. They set the surgery for Monday.  Well, yesterday she was told that because she was so far along they would be better to wait out this night mare. The New Specialty doctor was horrified that they called her so late. She informed my daughter they could have fixed this month ago and never put the healthy baby at risk.

As a mother and a grandmother my heart is so hurt.  I wish I could take my daughters pain again and the grief that she feels.  My baby granddaughter only has less than a 50% chance of survival.  We can only pray that her little heart will not be affected by pumping blood to her deformed sister whom she will never know.  It’s just a sad day in our house old.   I will pray from my daugher Jessican and my unborn granddaughter Madison 

Student

Friday at school I was approached by one of my 6^th graders asking me why I never post on Kidblog.com.  I didn't have a good answer to tell the student. I told her I couldn't remember my password. She looked at me and said I can fix that. I bet it is the same as ours and then you have to change it. I was then given directions by the student to access my account.  

I guess that is my sign to start writing so the students can read how I write.  First, I have to tell you that I am a little embarrassed since I think they all are more creative than me.  Second, what happens if I goof up or share too much information?  And finally, what if they think I am bad?

I think that I can get over the embarrassment by just writing about how wonderful I think they all are.  I will have to filter my thoughts when I am on their site.  I think I will just have to learn from my mistakes. The students put themselves out there everyday. I think I can do it if it will make them better writer. So, I am about to serve myself some confidence and do some creative writing. 

Pine trees

Pine trees are called evergreens and I ask myself why? When in reality they lose their needs just like leaves of a deciduous tree. Well, OK that may be over generalizing. What I do know is that I am constantly raking pine needles.  So today while I was raking I started to ponder the idea of why are they consider to be conifers.  In my head I instantly made a Venn diagram.  I instantly have a thought about how school has taken over my life. 

As I rake and the piles stack up, I start to imagine the needles multiplying as I rake. I raked off the deck which has a total of two pine trees one on each end. I must have gotten three wheel barrows full. Last month when I swept the deck there were just a few. Where do these needles come from? The trees are still full of green needles and the deck seemed to have needles that are brown in color. 

With each wind storm between now and spring more dead needles will fall. When spring comes the trees will produce new growth and needles and without ever losing all there needle. However, the tree is always green: thus, the reason for their classification as conifer trees.   

While this blog is a bit boring and rattles on, I am trying to force myself to write. When I force this is what you get.  

My father

My father died at 48 because he didn't have insurance he was part of the working poor. One Saturday morning in mid-October in 1987 he drove by two hospitals that would have saved his life but said no it’s nothing. He drove on to his destination and entered my uncle’s home and went into full cardiac arrest.  He didn't want to have the extra bill. He wanted to make sure his family had enough money to pay the mortgages.  He left us that day with more than a whole in our pockets but a whole in our hearts.

My mother was billed $900.00 for the paramedics that transported my father 5 minutes to a helicopter pad.  The Heart flight was over $18,000.00. Let us not forget the emergency room visit of $8500.00 or the mortuary of $7,500.00. I wonder if he would have stopped if he would have realized the catastrophic effect it had on our family.

I was 22 when my father died and my life changed forever.  He was a proud man and he would have never wanted my mother to be burdened with the cost of his death.   She was destroyed and became a widow at 42 years old.  She had to work two jobs to pay her mortgage rent. It changed how she lived her life.

Is medical insurance important? Yes

My parents were hard working people who spent their lives loving and protecting their children. We didn't always have the best but we never went without. My parents scarified their health insurance policy to put food on our table. They never got government help. I wonder if they would be alive today if they had the insurance that would have enabled my father to live a longer life. Instead his grandchildren only know the stories that we have told them.

The changes in the government may not bring my parents back. But maybe it will save the life of the next person who will find a cure for heart disease or cancer. 

Insurance

I have to say I am tired of the way the Government is acting. When has it become so apparent that they don’t care about the people that pay them to run the government?  I am not sure about the government shutdown I just see that friends are become divided over issues that are clearly out of their hands.   

I am a people person and I really try to see everyone’s point of view before makes choices. I guess you can say I walk a fine line between them both.  I am so unhappy that others are so narrow minded in their thought process that they can’t see beyond their own thought process.

Our nation is sick. Sick because they can’t seem to see that we can’t save the world if we are not saving ourselves.  I want to say that I believe everyone has a right to medical insurance. I hear people saying they don’t think that they should pay for other who don’t.  The problem is we already are. It isn't the people on Medicaid or Medicare that soak the system. It is the uninsured worker who can’t afford to go to the doctor until it becomes a hospital visit.  They can’t afford to go and when they do its often so bad it cost more and they don’t pay. Sometimes it takes years to pay back bill. Often times people file bankruptcy and expect other to pick up the cost and they do.  We do!

Insurance companies make deals with hospitals so they insured get there bills paid at a cut rate. But the working man who doesn't have insurance usually pays up to 50% for the same service. I believe the Insurance Industry needs to be overhauled. They only insure the healthy.  I can’t afford insurance because I am diabetic.  If I get sick I will loss all that I worked for and my husband will be beside me losing everything.  I don’t believe in all of the new health care system but it is a start. We can tweak it to make it work for everyone. But health insurance is important.

A balanced government budget need to happen but not at the expense of health care. We will pay one way or another in the end.   The system is broke and it needs to be fixed. I am pretty sure we can all agree on that.